Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Don't compare yourself to others

Hello Blog World! As you could see from my post below I signed up for a half marathon! For the past few weeks I had been down about my running and working out in general. It probably all started when I ran a 5k with a bunch of hard core runners. All the girls were super thin and everyone was talking about what times they wanted. I just wanted to run the whole time. Then the run was hot and I could barely breathe. I began to feel sorry for myself. The old bad thoughts began to poison my mind. "You can't do this," "Running sucks," "You will never be able to run a 5k in less than 30 minutes, why are you even trying." So I put these pictures up to remind myself. "Wendy you look a hell of a lot better now that you are a runner (ALSO THANK YOU WEIGHT WATCHERS) AND you are much happier." A person can only be the best version of themselves. I may never be able to run a 5k in less than 30 minutes. I may never get to that 150 pounds that I once tried to achieve. I can though continue to be the healthiest best version of myself.

Rock and Roll Half Marathon

I signed up! Rock and Roll Half Marathon Here I come!

Sept 5th, 2010

Three months to train!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

In Second Grade

March 1982: Wake County Superintendent Dr. Walter Marks proposes a Schools of Choice program of educational options designed to achieve racial balance and efficient utilization of schools. The magnet program begins August 1982. (News and Observer).

May 10th, 1982: I am born.

In 2nd grade my parents chose to send me and my sister to Washington Elementary. A magnet school in downtown Raleigh across the street from the projects.

In 2nd grade a white mid to upperclass girl knew the name of those projects, Walnut Terrace.

In 2nd grade, I had my 8 year old party. I remember two things distinctly. One, my friend asking me " you are friends with black people." I had one black friend there. Two, a different friend telling me she wanted to come to my party, but didn't know if she could buy me a present. She lived right by the school and rode the green bus, not the pink bus.Speaking of buses, my sister and I rode the bus everyday. We loved our 45 minute bus ride.

She "found" me a present, a pair of hoop earrings. I have a picture with me and those earrings. I loved those earrings. In college, in my class Teaching Diverse populations, when I was asked to remember my first experience of diversity, I remembered these memories.

Last night, Wake County voted to end the diversity policy that has been in effect for a long time. Schools will go into neighborhood schools. Each school zone will have a magnet, year round and traditional option. My husband went to neighborhood schools and he turned out fine. He went to school with all of his friends in the neighborhood. In second grade, I was friends with all my neighborhood kids as well as kids in north Raleigh, regular Raleigh, downtown, and other parts of Cary.

I don't even live in Raleigh and it breaks my heart. I don't even have children and it still makes me cry. This policy is a little about racism, a little about new people not understanding, but mostly about the future, and me understanding a little more the people that walk into my office everyday straight from the projects of downtown Norfolk, and me understanding a little more the importance of Washington Elementary, and the old school policy.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Baby vs. Marathon

I think when you turn 27 your biological clock literally starts to tick. This makes sense considering the recent news that half my eggs are gone by 30. Scratch that 90% of a woman's eggs are gone by 30. Just writing that makes me want to get impregnated, NOW.

Ever since my 27th birthday I literally go home from a night out thinking... I am tired of this I am ready for a baby. I began reading baby blogs and researching about births. Every other day I would talk baby names with my favorite google chat friends.I discussed it with my husband and he agreed. I announced to my parents that 2010 would be the year I would give them a grandchild. Yep...this was it. I celebrated my last pack of birth control ever in August with friends. I was so sure of my decision and excited about it. I even calculated when I would get pregnant, when I would have my maternity leave.etc..etc.

I am not sure exactly what happened but the month I was supposed to go off birth control I had a mild panic attack drove straight home opened my next pack of birth control and continued on.

Then my baby inklings returned around October. I became obsessed. I was ready so ready. Why did I go back on my decision this was TIME!If I wanted to have a baby while my husband was in the military this is it! My husband was supposed to leave on deployment later, so I wanted to wait until right before he left. Chris and I went on a trip in early November and early December we would really try! Then I went to a baby shower of a close friend. My friend Emily asked me if it was making me want a baby, and because I always tell Emily the truth, and I was drinking a mimosa I replied the truth, "not at all." All I could think about was I wanted another mimosa and quick.

Somehow I forgot about this whole epiphany and by the holidays I was well on the way to another full blown baby kick. I dreamt of babies EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I researched more on baby sites, talked baby names with hubby and was generally excited. Then of course, the doubt started to surface. ONE, my mother in law gave me a gift for Chris, Wendy, and future baby. Seriously?? Who does that. It made me want to throw up. Literally. Pretty sure this is not a good sign. Later I went to Sherlock Holmes with my hubby and in laws and all I could think about was that I didn't want to have a baby. So, I had to break the news to Chris. He was pretty upset. I think he is afraid I'll never want a baby. I don't think this is the case. I just can't get out of doubt/obsession cycle. Now he is leaving for deployment and there is most likely no time anyway. So as I promised I would either have a baby or run half marathon in 2010. Marathon it is!

10/31/09 Pumpkin Run

Here is me with some of my favorite people after my second 5k that I completed on 10/31/09. I wanted to make sure you knew I was still running!!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Simply remember my favorite things...and then I don't feel so bad.

1. Water Balloons ( not sure why this is my first one)

2. Water Parks

3. Going on a roller coaster uphill right before the big drop

4. Flying on a trip solo

5. Drinking in airports

6. Reading a book so beautiful it makes me cry

7. Swimming in the Ocean

8. Body Surfing.

9. Kissing

10. Fresh Baked Bread

11. Butter, the real kind

12. Chocolate chip cookies dipped in milk

13. Being a democrat

14. Read/ Watching the news

15. Elections

16. Watching Political Speeches

17. Phone calls from a friend

18. Coming home to my laundry already folded

19. Having a clean house that I did not clean

20. Feeling the coolness of fall coming in

21. Tailgating. Football.

22. Cheering for my team, the Wolfpack!

23.Watching the ACC tournament and the NCAA

24. Experiencing a win for state in either football or basketball.

25. Tequila Shots. Petron.

26. Laying in bed during a violent thunderstorm

27. Meeting my children in my dreams

28. Making love after a long absence

29. Local Vegatable Stands.

30. Being a pescetarian

31. Dressing up

32. Ruffles

33. Wrap Dresses

34. Parties with a theme

35. Riding my Pink bike pepto

36. North Carolina State Fair

37. Driving down the interstate seeing the Raleigh Sky line

38. Cary Lazy Days

39. Reading great weightloss blogs

40. Working out so hard sweat is dripping from my body

41. 5:15am Spinning Classes

42. Chocolate, Dark

43. A cold Miller lite on a hot summer day with the people I love.

44. Making love, or the opposite, depending on my mood

45. Cuddling

46. Running about 1 mile

47. Swimming in a lake

48. Snow Skiing when it's not too cold

49. Road trips with my sister

50. Rock band

51. Playing the piano

52. Playing a cool cadence on the snare.

53. Coolwhip

54. Ortbitz original

55. Fireworks on the fourth of july

56. Disneyworld

57. Snorkling or Scuba Diving

58. Cruises

59. Warm Nights

60. John Legend in Concert

61. Dancing in the living room

62. Old Friends and New

63. Drunk Dialing

63. Waking up super early

64. Popcorn at the movies

65. Thanksgiving at my parent's house

66. All the presents I get at the Cook's house for Christmas

67. A cool glass of water

68. Coca Cola Classic- Can't beat the real thing.

69. A good love song

70. Country from the early to mid 90's

71. Traveling

72. Sitting on the couch with my hubby watching one of "our" shows

73. Prestemon reunion every other Christmas.

74. Homemade Macaroni and Cheese

75. Watching Dophins swim in the ocean.

76. Going out to eat at a fancy restaurant with a glass of wine.

77. Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches.

78. Life Long Love Stories

79. Freeze Pops Lime Flavored

80. Cottage Cheese with fresh tomatoes on top.

81. A spicy bloody mary

82. Spicy things in general

83. Make up and making up.

84. Being girly

85. Massages

86. Playing with my hair.

87. Going home early

88. Staying out late.

89. Holiday Parties.

90. Fitting into my size 10 clothes.

91. Margaritas

92. School

93. Watching my sailor leave his submarine and return to me.

94. Flowers delivered to me or given to me.

95. Laughing with friends

96. Diving off the diving board

97. Catching a Fish

98. Playing Cards

99. Playing any board game with friends

100. Deep Discussions

101. Silent Night with Candles at Church on Christmas Eve.

102. Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

103. Wheat toast with Strawberry Jam.

104. The smell of burgers on the grill..even if I no longer eat them.

105. Swinging (on a swingset)

106. Water Skiing

107. Marching Band Competitions

108. Broadway Shows

109. Date Night

110. Birthdays!

111. Wine Festivals

112. Local Coffee Shops

113. Daily Coffee Drinking

114. Dangly Earrings.

115. Crisp pickles

116. Diry Martinis

117. Curly Hair

118. Being a Blonde

119. Walking my dog.

120. Eating a piece of the cake above.

121. Blogging.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I am a runner

Saturday, June 27th 2009.
I completed my first 5k! I ran the whole thing without stopping at it took about 32 minutes!